Thursday, April 15, 2010

Awoke to the strangest dream

This morning as usual I fell back to sleep after hitting my alarm for the 100th time. Every Almost everytime I do this they are the strangest of my dreams. I think this one is the weirdest of the all. I woke because I was pregnant and 2 of the physicians I work for where trying to get me to deliver. The strange part is that I was fighting them not to deliver. I kept telling them that I was not ready. The doctors where stating I needed to be delivered right away. They where also fighting as to whom would do said delivery. When I say fighting them I mean they are both pulling dragging me into the hospital. Don't ask where this dream came from. I fell asleep I was watching Xmen: Wolverine. And yes there is a pregnant woman in one of the books I am reading but there is nothing like that in the other two books. (Sorry having a really bad ADHD problem the last week in the reading department). I am not in a serious relationship not in any form of a relationship. My IUD is extremely happy where it is and it has 2 years left on it. My 3 year date of placement was on the 13th. The doctor I work for is wanting so bad to pull it out and have me get pregnant. A couple of my co-workers are also wanting the same. I am just not where I want to be. I want to be married with someone who wants children. I don't want to raise a child on my own. The selfish side is I don't want to give myself daily injections of blood thinner though out the pregnancy and I don't want to do that ALONE. My co-workers say to use Anthony as a donor. Well that is hard, Between his work schedule and the fact that we only see each other in the sexual every couple of months. My heart is just so torn. It wants this to happen but my brain says no you are not ready. I need a way to silence this clock going off. And when I have a foster baby it makes it even harder. I think get to thinking that this person brought this beautiful baby into the world and they are stupid enought to hurt that innocent little sweetie. I think that is what is making this worse. My head is swimming..

Oh yeah.. Said temporary crown came off Tuesday.. Oops... Go back to the dentist in the morning.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Sunday night.. Already!!!

Why is it some people are just to thick in the head. Hello if a friend has someone show up at you with a video. Why do you have to stay another 2 1/2 hours. You were there to drop off the dog. That is done now LEAVE. I asked Anthony to come out to a fundraiser at a bar. He decided he could not. I have a beer and a Philly Steak sandwich. So I made an offer to bring a movie down for the evening. I love the Sherlock Holmes movie. I get down there and the Former roommate Pam is there. This is about 930pm. She does not leave until almost midnight. Hello, You can go, he is a big boy and Tink (said dog) likes me better anyway. But no. She keeps talking. She says she is a nurse but some of her comments makes me think she has a slightly unlawful job (no not drugs). Good god leave the man alone. He is moving on, why can't you. You have an 18y/o daughter who is pregnant living with her father. Go deal with your own issues. Anthony has been my friend a LOT longer then he has known you. So we finally get to watch the movie and do not finish until 2am. I should have stayed there. Boy that would have pissed her off. But I was honest with him, If I was going to stay he would not get much sleep. Oh well. It was a fun night. And now Sunday is over and work is hours away. Yuck.. I don't want to go back. Do I have to???

Friday, April 09, 2010

Thank goodness for the weekend...

This has been one heck of a week. Monday like any Monday - Busy. Tuesday was busy but I left at 130pm in the middle of the normal drama. Sharon having her normal meltdown. Thank goodness I was out of there. Went to the dentist. It was time to get my Crown started. Well you know it is bad when the dentist starts talking abut when someone took an appointment or not.. Well they were talking about getting me in for a ROOT CANAL.. Yeppers... She wanted it the next day. My jaw hurt like I had been punch and it broken. I came home and wanted to chop my head off. I took a Pain pill and started to feeling better an hour later. Unfortunately I could not do it Wednesday. I was able to get to the specialist until Thursday. Thursday came. I was smart this time, I took a pain pill before I headed down to the specialist. Well they took me back about 20 mins early. Of course my teeth have to cause problems. It took almost 3hrs to complete. I actually felt better then I did after an hour in the chair Tuesday. Today my jaw is slightly sore nothing a few ibuprofen will not help. I was suppose to watch Isabela but had to call off since I was having the root canal. I feel really bad about calling out. I called and let them know if they needed me to call. Otherwise I have been reading and playing on here. Have a good Friday and rest of the weekend.

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Happy easter.

I hope everyone had a great Easter Sunday. Today I was awaken by my mom, Cheyenne, Cody and Ivy Grace at 830am. That was only 4 hrs after signing off and finally getting to sleep. After that I we got dressed and worked on the front yard. We bought 10 bags of mulch and spread them out in the front flower beds. Yesterday we took all the back porch furniture off and washed them down. We then washed the back porch and windows. After it dried, put the new outdoor rug out and put all the furniture back. It looks nice out there. After putting the mulch out today. Took a shower then a little time to catch up on my Zzzzz.. The after dropping Cheyenne off with her foster mom, we headed to Palm Bay to see my other family. Had a wonderful dinner. Now I am sitting here relaxing after taking something for my tooth. Tuesday I get the temporary crown. Yippee.. I had having my teeth worked on. Well I am off to bed.. Maybe I can keep my brain functioning enough to read a page or two.. But I doubt it.. Night All..

What truly is running through my head????

Right not is it more - Why is my ADHD running wild as of late??? First off the books that have I have been finishing pretty quickly are just not holding my interest. It is not that they are boring. The books are pretty dang good. I have been drawn more to the shorter stories. I need to get my ass in gear because I there is a bunch of books in multiple series I have been reading. At the end of this month there are 6 books released in a 3 week period. Yikes. I just finished reading Darkest Kiss by Keri Arther. It is the 6th in the Riley Jensen series. There are 2 more books currently available for download on Kindle.. The last book in the series is due to be released in May. That is sad because I really like the character. After that I download One & Only by Bianca D'arc. It is part of her vampire Brotherhood of Blood series. They are all short stores. There is a 3 books in the Brotherhood of blood series with 2 other short stories that involve characters from the Brotherhood series. After finishing that in 48hrs(see told you that they were short). I am currently trying to get back into the Evernight Novels by Claudia Gray. The most recent release if Hourglass. It is a tale about Bianca, the vampire child, who falls for the bad boy Jake, who is part of the Black Cross, a vampire hunting group. I think the reason I am having problems getting back into this series is because it was quite a long time between release dates.

So here is a list of the different book series I am or have read:
  • Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling (series is complete) read them all multiple time except the year 7. My heart breaks when I get ready to pick that up to start it. Also it is not available for Kindle download.
  • Twilight series by Stephaine Meyers (series is complete) I read the first 3 books in 4 weeks. And yes I went to pick up Breaking Dawn at midnight.
  • Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon (series is not complete) Book number 7 Echo of the Bone was just released. Book #8 The Exile is doe to be released on September 28, 2010. These are great books but I think I tried to read too many in a row. I stalled halfway through book #5. I need to catch on the other series and get this one finished.
  • The House of Night series by P.C. Cast (Series not complete) Book number 7 Burned is due out April 27th. That are good for older teens. My problem with them is that with each book there is no closure. They leave you hanging for months until the next is released. This is a constant fight of good vs evil.
  • Evernight series by Claudia Gray (series not complete) Book #3 was just released in March. Book #4 Afterlife is due to be released December 8, 2010
  • Southern Vampire/Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris (series not complete) these are the books the Trueblood series. These are great. Loved book four. Eric could help me in the shower anytime and this scene better not be cut from the show. HBO Please cast Vin Diesel as Quinn...Yummy... Book number 10 is due out May 4th, 2010. True Blood season 3 starts in June. There are also a bunch of little sub-novels that I need to read.
  • Vampire Diaries by L.J. Smith I read the first 4 books (The Awaking, The Struggle, The Fury and the Dark Reunion) but have not read the newer release The Return: Nightfall.
  • Vampire Kisses - Novel & Manga by Ellen Schreiber (Series not complete) Book #7 Love Bites is due to be released May 18. These I found just when I was getting my desire to read back. They are short and sweet. Love the Manga. Wish these would come out faster.
  • The Blue Bloods by Melissa de la Cruz ( seres not complete)It looks like Book #5 Misguided Angels is due out on October 5, 2010. These are pretty good. The last book The Van Alen Legacy jumped around too much for me. Every chapter was a different character. Hard to keep up some times. Love the characters Jake & Schuyler.
  • Morganville Vampires by Rachel Caine (series not complete) Love this bunch. Love all the characters. The next book either comes out April 27 or May 4th. Either way that is just around the corner.
  • Harper Connelly Series by Charlaine Harris (series complete) LOVED this series. Very sad to see it end. Harper is a great character. Harper has a rare talent. after being struck by lightning she can now sense where skeletons are buried. She along with her step-brother/manger Tolliver are helping locate the bodies of the missing while trying to locate their sister Cameron.
  • Riley Jensen, Guardian series (almost complete) I first downloaded this book from when I had a credit I needed to use. I then got it as a free download for my Kindle. I did not listen to it for months then when I had to drive to North Carolina it kept me going. Very yummy series. The last in the series is out in May. She does have a spin off series coming soon, might have to give it a try. Riley is a Vampire/Werewolf who has been brought into the Guardian program with her twin brother. Her love life is a train wreak and it seems like everyone is out to kill her.
  • Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead (series not complete) This is also for the mature Young adult. Book #5 Spirit Bound is due out May 18, 2010. Interesting take. Rose is the Guardian for Lissa Dragomir a member of vampire royalty. She has set out to kill the man she loves after he was turned into a strigori.
See a total mess. All the release dates have been noted in my phones calendar. Here are a couple of authors that I have enjoyed reading.
So what else has been going on. I have been working my ass off. I have been spending a lot of time with Carmen, Anette and Isabela. They are the greatest. I have given up on Tony. If it is suppose to happen it will. Otherwise I am not getting my hopes up. I can use him as I please.. He is currently out of a relationship so I am currently using him what I need when I need it. It is not a bad then for a woman to be using a man is it???? The Boys.. They are now 7 years old. Where has the time gone? They are getting so smart. Gino had the plate removed from his leg on Friday. Kelly says he is doing well but being dramatic as always. As for the foster parent thing. I guess that is the reason I am still on here tonight. I must say I enjoy the little sweethearts that we get. I just hate giving them up. We currently have Cheyenne. She is 3 months old and is beautiful as can be. She was removed from her family at birth. Her father is a sickass. Today (since it is 245am) she will be going back to regular foster home. She is one of 6 in that household. She should be allowed to stay here but the court wants her to stay with her siblings, who do not even realize they are related. She looks like she could be my child. She has long eyelashes, blue eyes and very fragile fair skin. The thing about this fostering thing that is hard. I am someone who everyone says would be a great mother. Except no man sees me that way. There is a movie coming out that is about how I feel. It is due to hit theaters April 26th. This is the way I might go to have children. I feel like such a failure in that department. People say just get a sperm donor and have on that way. I start thinking "That is one way" then I remember I have a serious clotting disorder, what happens if I do not make it through to care for this/these child(ren). I have on gene of Factor V Lieden mutation. It is a clotting disorder. My mother has both genes. I will have to be on blood thinner injections during the pregnancy and sooner or later I will be placed on a blood thinner daily. I worry about passing it to my child(ren). Twins run in my family, that is why I say children. What to do, What to do. So I think this should be enough for tonight. I have 10 bags of mulch to put down, have to turn Cheyenne over, do laundry and easter dinner with my other family today.. Busy. I am hoping to keep this up again. I felt better when I wrote on here. Night all and Happy Easter.