CLICK HERE FOR THOUSANDS OF FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATES »

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Wondering...

Do you ever wonder why people come in and out of your life. I do. I do all the time. I have a group of male friends who come in and out of my life. I talk to them and then they disappear. Just drop off the face of the earth. Tony, Colin and Joe. They drive me bonkers. Colin right now has been talking to me and even came to visit me while he was in town for Thanksgiving. He has had a rough last few years. But I think his life maybe on the better road. I hope. Hell if he can survive at least 3 motorcycle accidents he can make it though this. Like I said I hope. Joe, my sweet Joe. He is the worst. 10 years ago he up and disappeared, no goodbye not even a screw you. He was in love with another woman but he was still playing me. And me the stupid fool I am I fell for it. Then he is gone. The a few years later I hear from him and find out they have a daughter. Then he is gone again. Then he pops back into my life again and out before I know it. He has weaseled his way back in again. I am so tired of the ones who got away coming back and saying they want me. Dumb ass you had me and you walked away. Not me. I was there for you and you abandoned me. You can not even have lunch with me - a friend. Because she might get mad that you are having lunch with another woman. Hello, there is no reason to worry. You chose her over me. Good god it is only lunch. I am not going to jump and rape you in the middle of a restaurant. Now I have not heard from in a week. Tony.. He just pops up and sends me an instant message and then he is gone. Nothing, Nada. Tony has held my heart for a long time but our relationship has never gone anywhere. One day when we were laying in one of the beds at the station talking, he asked a question as he entered that area between awake and asleep. He asked what we never got together. I told him because he never asked. When I asked him about it he does not remember it (Of Course). But nothing went from there. Now he talks to me every once in a while. His mother always ask why I have not gone out with him. I told her that it is a 2 way street and there is only one driver going down it. She says she will work on it. Oh good heavens. We have know each other since 1996 and nada. We did make a pact that if we are not married by the time I turn 35 we will get married. Well that is only a few years from now. I doubt that will happen. Hell we even went to Orlando together and stayed in a hotel together. Nada. I thought that is when things would take a turn. Nope. He has been my Knight in shining armor when a stranger come to my door and I was home alone. Damn him.. What is it that I do to these guys. what??? I am a great person as most say but I am alone. I am so tired of hearing that I would make a great mother. Well obviously not by the men's standards. Damn them... What am I doing wrong???

3 Your thoughts and comments:

Linda said...

I don't think you are doing anything wrong. I like to believe that there is someone for everyone. One day you will find him. Try to stay positive.

Janet said...

Hmmm...I agree with Linda. I've always believed that there is someone for everyone! You may have to look in some new places for him! :-)

:: gingerkitty :: said...

Let them go. Take those out of your heart....Feel better about yourself...Know that MEN are wonderful... Say it: Men are wonderful to me. Men love me. Then start saying The man I hope for is looking for me and he is on his way to finding me now.....and Please write the positivity everyday and you will see a change,

namaste