Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Day 30

I have not written in a while because i have been busy with a work project. I have also been a little frustrated with the male population. First I have Tony, He has cut the last thread. He calls me to meet up with him and he falls asleep. Then Friday I call him to see if he wanted to have lunch together and he called back and then blew me off. Well jerk you just lost your turn.Your loss. I can not keep playing this game. Then there is Joe. He is happily married but says he still dreams of me. He states that I am sexy and he still wants me in his life. No buddy you chose someone else to journey down the isle with. You think of me, I have news for you, you hurt me emotionally. You never even knew you hurt me. I really do not think you cared that you hurt me. You are one of the reasons I got to this weight.I ate to cushion the let downs I always faced around you. One of the good memories of me and you is how you woke me up to the way Frank was treating me and after the let down from John. I loved going out and having fun together but then you always used me. This has caused me to be very angry. I am tired of being angry, you have the relationship you want and I do not want these feelings anymore. Understand. Like I said before you chose her, you live with that choice. I think that is about it for tonight. I feel a little bit better now.

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