Monday, September 15, 2003

Day 1

My Height: 5'4" Weight: 195 (dressed in scrubs)

Well, this is the beginning. I am not going to be hard on myself anymore. I am going to be successful at losing 50 pounds by this time next year I will be healthier. My cholesterol will be in a healthy range.  I will be a happier person. I will not allow myself to be walked on by others. I would like to stop being so scared of change. I will stand up for myself more. I will finally decide what I want to do as a career. I hope that is not too much to expect to change but I have to do this for myself.

I have finally awaken to the fact that no one is going to help me but me. I have been walked on for to many years and it is now time for people to do things I want. I want to be treated with respect. I do not want to be the girl is always chosen last, the perfect friend and the go to person. It is time people start to learn to do things on there own. I will not be a work everyday to do it for them. I am adopting the "see one, do one and teach one" Philosophy. I am tired of hearing I that I will be a great mother someday or that some guy will be lucky to have someone like you as a wife. I want to be that person but this change will help me be this person. I have got to learn what I have been doing so wrong to cause them not choose me before. The first thing is it is thier loss. And to my past boyfriends, If I was not the person you wanted to marry before please don't wander back saying "I miss you" and all that bull now that you are married. You married her not me and now you have to live with your decision. Please do not come running back to me. I am tired of living in the past. I am moving on. You guys have played with my heart enough that I don't need it emotionally or physcially. You guys have caused most of my weight problem. I have turned to eating to comfort the hurt in my heart. I am not going to allow myself to hurt like that anymore. Someday you guys will truly realize what a great person you lost. This is the beginning of a change for the better.

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