Monday, September 29, 2003

Day 15

I love my mother but some of her comments really hurt. I know my mom and dad split on somewhat bad terms over 20 years ago. But she does not have to constantly remind me it or tell more faults. I love my dad andI have my own issues with him. What happened between them was a long time ago. In ways it has made me a stronger person. My dad has not always been there. And if he was there our time is cut short because he has to run off to do something with her faimly. One of the things that I continuely hear through my mind is from my graduation when Carolyn made the comment that they missed her nephews graduation to attend mine. Well he is my father if you wanted to go to your nephews ceremony you should have gone to and missed mine but my father better have attended it. That really hurt. You married and got me as an added bonus. I hurt when you could not have me at Jeff's funeral, because you could not handle me due to my age. Did you know it took me over 10 years to really accept his death. You did not care about my feelings until I lost a friend the same way. You did not realize that those statements really hurt. When you come down to visit. What about visiting me for once. The little comment about we will visit you more when you are married and have kids. Why can't you visit me now???? When I come up there to visit I spend 90% of my time there with Carolyn. I would be happy relaxing on the couch watching a football game or home improvement show. I do not need to shop every second that the stores are open. You made shopping with you guys a bad though in my heart. I wanted to buy an outfit when I was visiting, I was only a dollar or 2 short and you would not help me. I would have paid you back, I had the money at home, I would have given it to you. I promise.  See little things like that hurt and weigh on someone for life.

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