Busy persons Baked Potato Soup. (I love Panera Bread's Baked Potato soup. I found a recipe online but if you truly know me I am one to find a simpler way. Here is how I changed the recipe a little to save time. It took max 40 mins total.)

1 package Ore-ida Steam n' Mash Russet Potatoes (in with the french fries)
1 package Real Bacon Recipe pieces (you will find next to your salad dressings)
1/2 (or 1 stick) cup butter
1/2 onion, diced (or half of a publix pre-cut container of onion)
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
6 cups milk
2-3 teaspoons fine sea salt (Flavor to taste, start put with the lower measurement)
1-2 teaspoon pepper (Flavor to taste, start put with the lower measurement)
2 cups grated mild cheddar cheese
1 cup (8oz) sour cream
1 loaf of French Bread
Cook Potatoes as directed on package. In a large soup pot over low heat butter, add onion and saute until soft. Stir in flour until well combined,but do not let brown. Gradually add milk, increase stove heat and bring to a boil, stirring constantly. Add potato pulp (you may want to smash the potatoes slightly so they are not in such big pieces, that also allows the flavor to soak in the potato), salt, pepper & bacon. Gradually add cheese. Stir until cheese is melted. Stir in sour cream. Add extra milk, if necessary, for desired thickness. NOTE: At this point, soup may be refrigerated until ready to serve. When ready to serve, warm over low heat, stirring until hot. Remove from heat and serve in soup bowls.

Serve with a hunk of french bread for dipping. You can save some of the cheese and bacon pieces to sprinkle on top of the bowl of soup.

Just not myself.

I hate rainy yucky days. It just makes me feel worse then I already do. I am 35 y/o and feel like a total waste. Have you seen that movie Good Luck Chuck. I am the female version. Yeppers.. I am tired of being a good luck charm for Men. What is so wrong with me. I am tired of hearing "you would make such a great mother" or "Why aren't you married" or "Why are you still single you are such a great girl". Well apparently there it something wrong with me. No man wants to settle down with me. No man wants me but why. Is it because their mother's like me? It is because their family likes me. Is that such a crime? Is it because of my independence? Is it because I was smart enough not to get knocked up right out of high school? I would like find my own place. I would like to be able to pay off my credit cards and then I could get my own place. Maybe this possible job change will be the best for me. I am just tired of being alone. I am tired of feeling like I am useless and will never be worth anything to anyone other then my pups. I know the boys and Isabela love me but it is not the same. They are not my flesh and blood. I want someone who looks up to me. The boys are almost to the age where they will not need Miss Christy anymore. I feel like I should just have my IUD removed and if it happens it happens. Obviously there is never going to be a wedding. Someone to share my bed with, well other then my the spotted monsters and my occasional 7 y/o who wanders into my bed in the middle of the night. That is the greatest.. Well until they try to take over the bed. Oh well.. time to get ready for the rough day of work ahead the rest of the week. I see some OT coming my way.

I see the light...

And I do not think it is the train.... Monday the normal OB nurse at our office comes back part time. I may help get some of the stress off of us. Also there is only 2 more clinicals left. Well more like 36 more hours of clinical time left. I still have some tests I need to catch up on. Well speaking of tests.. I need to get back to studying.

Have you ever

I have a patient who rarely works. I am currently wanting to turn around and knock her up the head.

I am officially exhausted

I have decided to go back and get my EMT license back. I let it lapse in 2006. It has been a nightmare since that decision. The Local College... it makes me wonder how people graduate. I sign up and pay. It takes them almost 2 weeks to get me in the system. Since I have done it before I am doing more as a refresher. So the Teacher "Nick" who's class list I am on, apparently does not like how I am doing it (with approval of the main teachers). He switches me off of the on-line board. It then takes me 2 weeks to get back on the board and it is now really hard to do class discussion when you are the only one listed in the class. June 25th I went to get my student badge I was not informed about because it was on the message board I have been locked out of. But the College is Closed every Friday. I go to my 1st clinical without a badge. The only good thing is I was riding with my little brother.I go on June 28th and get it taken. Go July 1st no badge yet, July 2nd & 5ht Closed. So I went to my second clinical without my student badge. July 6 & 7 no badge. July 8th I worked until 730. July 9th Closed.. Saturday & Sunday clinical with no badge. Went back today and it turns out they have LOST my badge.. They have to reorder it and it will hopefully be in Thursday. The problem I have to have it for my state testing.. I have 2 more clinicals to do. Lets see if I get it before I finish the class.. So I am on my 8th straight day of work or clinical. I have 3 more to go until the weekend. My only weekend off. It is sad that it is my birthday and all I want to do is sleep. The dogs hate me because I am never home. Then it turns out today that the guy I have been with that ended up in the hospital with chest pain. This is the same guy with the bullshit line "I am too busy for a relationship". All of a sudden he has seen the light and the same woman who has smashed his heart into little pieces it the one he can't live without. Go fuck yourself. Don't call me when you need something done for your family. Call Carrie to do it. Just remember your family hates her and will not let her in the house. I will all of a sudden not be able to help. She was not the one offering to take off work and drive your family over to see you. Carrie would never do that. Carrie would not ride with you over to take you mom to Orlando so she would not drive you crazy. Nope.. Did she sit there with your family BOTH time your father had major surgery. Was she there for you at your father funeral. NOPE... One day you will wake up. Time for a shower and time for bed.

Awoke to the strangest dream

This morning as usual I fell back to sleep after hitting my alarm for the 100th time. Every Almost everytime I do this they are the strangest of my dreams. I think this one is the weirdest of the all. I woke because I was pregnant and 2 of the physicians I work for where trying to get me to deliver. The strange part is that I was fighting them not to deliver. I kept telling them that I was not ready. The doctors where stating I needed to be delivered right away. They where also fighting as to whom would do said delivery. When I say fighting them I mean they are both pulling dragging me into the hospital. Don't ask where this dream came from. I fell asleep I was watching Xmen: Wolverine. And yes there is a pregnant woman in one of the books I am reading but there is nothing like that in the other two books. (Sorry having a really bad ADHD problem the last week in the reading department). I am not in a serious relationship not in any form of a relationship. My IUD is extremely happy where it is and it has 2 years left on it. My 3 year date of placement was on the 13th. The doctor I work for is wanting so bad to pull it out and have me get pregnant. A couple of my co-workers are also wanting the same. I am just not where I want to be. I want to be married with someone who wants children. I don't want to raise a child on my own. The selfish side is I don't want to give myself daily injections of blood thinner though out the pregnancy and I don't want to do that ALONE. My co-workers say to use Anthony as a donor. Well that is hard, Between his work schedule and the fact that we only see each other in the sexual every couple of months. My heart is just so torn. It wants this to happen but my brain says no you are not ready. I need a way to silence this clock going off. And when I have a foster baby it makes it even harder. I think get to thinking that this person brought this beautiful baby into the world and they are stupid enought to hurt that innocent little sweetie. I think that is what is making this worse. My head is swimming..

Oh yeah.. Said temporary crown came off Tuesday.. Oops... Go back to the dentist in the morning.

Sunday night.. Already!!!

Why is it some people are just to thick in the head. Hello if a friend has someone show up at you with a video. Why do you have to stay another 2 1/2 hours. You were there to drop off the dog. That is done now LEAVE. I asked Anthony to come out to a fundraiser at a bar. He decided he could not. I have a beer and a Philly Steak sandwich. So I made an offer to bring a movie down for the evening. I love the Sherlock Holmes movie. I get down there and the Former roommate Pam is there. This is about 930pm. She does not leave until almost midnight. Hello, You can go, he is a big boy and Tink (said dog) likes me better anyway. But no. She keeps talking. She says she is a nurse but some of her comments makes me think she has a slightly unlawful job (no not drugs). Good god leave the man alone. He is moving on, why can't you. You have an 18y/o daughter who is pregnant living with her father. Go deal with your own issues. Anthony has been my friend a LOT longer then he has known you. So we finally get to watch the movie and do not finish until 2am. I should have stayed there. Boy that would have pissed her off. But I was honest with him, If I was going to stay he would not get much sleep. Oh well. It was a fun night. And now Sunday is over and work is hours away. Yuck.. I don't want to go back. Do I have to???

Thank goodness for the weekend...

This has been one heck of a week. Monday like any Monday - Busy. Tuesday was busy but I left at 130pm in the middle of the normal drama. Sharon having her normal meltdown. Thank goodness I was out of there. Went to the dentist. It was time to get my Crown started. Well you know it is bad when the dentist starts talking abut when someone took an appointment or not.. Well they were talking about getting me in for a ROOT CANAL.. Yeppers... She wanted it the next day. My jaw hurt like I had been punch and it broken. I came home and wanted to chop my head off. I took a Pain pill and started to feeling better an hour later. Unfortunately I could not do it Wednesday. I was able to get to the specialist until Thursday. Thursday came. I was smart this time, I took a pain pill before I headed down to the specialist. Well they took me back about 20 mins early. Of course my teeth have to cause problems. It took almost 3hrs to complete. I actually felt better then I did after an hour in the chair Tuesday. Today my jaw is slightly sore nothing a few ibuprofen will not help. I was suppose to watch Isabela but had to call off since I was having the root canal. I feel really bad about calling out. I called and let them know if they needed me to call. Otherwise I have been reading and playing on here. Have a good Friday and rest of the weekend.

Happy easter.

I hope everyone had a great Easter Sunday. Today I was awaken by my mom, Cheyenne, Cody and Ivy Grace at 830am. That was only 4 hrs after signing off and finally getting to sleep. After that I we got dressed and worked on the front yard. We bought 10 bags of mulch and spread them out in the front flower beds. Yesterday we took all the back porch furniture off and washed them down. We then washed the back porch and windows. After it dried, put the new outdoor rug out and put all the furniture back. It looks nice out there. After putting the mulch out today. Took a shower then a little time to catch up on my Zzzzz.. The after dropping Cheyenne off with her foster mom, we headed to Palm Bay to see my other family. Had a wonderful dinner. Now I am sitting here relaxing after taking something for my tooth. Tuesday I get the temporary crown. Yippee.. I had having my teeth worked on. Well I am off to bed.. Maybe I can keep my brain functioning enough to read a page or two.. But I doubt it.. Night All..

What truly is running through my head????

Right not is it more - Why is my ADHD running wild as of late??? First off the books that have I have been finishing pretty quickly are just not holding my interest. It is not that they are boring. The books are pretty dang good. I have been drawn more to the shorter stories. I need to get my ass in gear because I there is a bunch of books in multiple series I have been reading. At the end of this month there are 6 books released in a 3 week period. Yikes. I just finished reading Darkest Kiss by Keri Arther. It is the 6th in the Riley Jensen series. There are 2 more books currently available for download on Kindle.. The last book in the series is due to be released in May. That is sad because I really like the character. After that I download One & Only by Bianca D'arc. It is part of her vampire Brotherhood of Blood series. They are all short stores. There is a 3 books in the Brotherhood of blood series with 2 other short stories that involve characters from the Brotherhood series. After finishing that in 48hrs(see told you that they were short). I am currently trying to get back into the Evernight Novels by Claudia Gray. The most recent release if Hourglass. It is a tale about Bianca, the vampire child, who falls for the bad boy Jake, who is part of the Black Cross, a vampire hunting group. I think the reason I am having problems getting back into this series is because it was quite a long time between release dates.

So here is a list of the different book series I am or have read:

• Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling (series is complete) read them all multiple time except the year 7. My heart breaks when I get ready to pick that up to start it. Also it is not available for Kindle download.
• Twilight series by Stephaine Meyers (series is complete) I read the first 3 books in 4 weeks. And yes I went to pick up Breaking Dawn at midnight.
• Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon (series is not complete) Book number 7 Echo of the Bone was just released. Book #8 The Exile is doe to be released on September 28, 2010. These are great books but I think I tried to read too many in a row. I stalled halfway through book #5. I need to catch on the other series and get this one finished.
• The House of Night series by P.C. Cast (Series not complete) Book number 7 Burned is due out April 27th. That are good for older teens. My problem with them is that with each book there is no closure. They leave you hanging for months until the next is released. This is a constant fight of good vs evil.
• Evernight series by Claudia Gray (series not complete) Book #3 was just released in March. Book #4 Afterlife is due to be released December 8, 2010
• Southern Vampire/Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris (series not complete) these are the books the Trueblood series. These are great. Loved book four. Eric could help me in the shower anytime and this scene better not be cut from the show. HBO Please cast Vin Diesel as Quinn...Yummy... Book number 10 is due out May 4th, 2010. True Blood season 3 starts in June. There are also a bunch of little sub-novels that I need to read.
• Vampire Diaries by L.J. Smith I read the first 4 books (The Awaking, The Struggle, The Fury and the Dark Reunion) but have not read the newer release The Return: Nightfall.
• Vampire Kisses - Novel & Manga by Ellen Schreiber (Series not complete) Book #7 Love Bites is due to be released May 18. These I found just when I was getting my desire to read back. They are short and sweet. Love the Manga. Wish these would come out faster.
• The Blue Bloods by Melissa de la Cruz ( seres not complete)It looks like Book #5 Misguided Angels is due out on October 5, 2010. These are pretty good. The last book The Van Alen Legacy jumped around too much for me. Every chapter was a different character. Hard to keep up some times. Love the characters Jake & Schuyler.
• Morganville Vampires by Rachel Caine (series not complete) Love this bunch. Love all the characters. The next book either comes out April 27 or May 4th. Either way that is just around the corner.
• Harper Connelly Series by Charlaine Harris (series complete) LOVED this series. Very sad to see it end. Harper is a great character. Harper has a rare talent. after being struck by lightning she can now sense where skeletons are buried. She along with her step-brother/manger Tolliver are helping locate the bodies of the missing while trying to locate their sister Cameron.
• Riley Jensen, Guardian series (almost complete) I first downloaded this book from Audile.com when I had a credit I needed to use. I then got it as a free download for my Kindle. I did not listen to it for months then when I had to drive to North Carolina it kept me going. Very yummy series. The last in the series is out in May. She does have a spin off series coming soon, might have to give it a try. Riley is a Vampire/Werewolf who has been brought into the Guardian program with her twin brother. Her love life is a train wreak and it seems like everyone is out to kill her.
• Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead (series not complete) This is also for the mature Young adult. Book #5 Spirit Bound is due out May 18, 2010. Interesting take. Rose is the Guardian for Lissa Dragomir a member of vampire royalty. She has set out to kill the man she loves after he was turned into a strigori.

See a total mess. All the release dates have been noted in my phones calendar. Here are a couple of authors that I have enjoyed reading.

• Devyn Quinn
• Jennifer Armintrout
• R.L. Stine (been a while since I read is books but they are the greatest)

So what else has been going on. I have been working my ass off. I have been spending a lot of time with Carmen, Anette and Isabela. They are the greatest. I have given up on Tony. If it is suppose to happen it will. Otherwise I am not getting my hopes up. I can use him as I please.. He is currently out of a relationship so I am currently using him what I need when I need it. It is not a bad then for a woman to be using a man is it???? The Boys.. They are now 7 years old. Where has the time gone? They are getting so smart. Gino had the plate removed from his leg on Friday. Kelly says he is doing well but being dramatic as always. As for the foster parent thing. I guess that is the reason I am still on here tonight. I must say I enjoy the little sweethearts that we get. I just hate giving them up. We currently have Cheyenne. She is 3 months old and is beautiful as can be. She was removed from her family at birth. Her father is a sickass. Today (since it is 245am) she will be going back to regular foster home. She is one of 6 in that household. She should be allowed to stay here but the court wants her to stay with her siblings, who do not even realize they are related. She looks like she could be my child. She has long eyelashes, blue eyes and very fragile fair skin. The thing about this fostering thing that is hard. I am someone who everyone says would be a great mother. Except no man sees me that way. There is a movie coming out that is about how I feel. It is due to hit theaters April 26th. This is the way I might go to have children. I feel like such a failure in that department. People say just get a sperm donor and have on that way. I start thinking "That is one way" then I remember I have a serious clotting disorder, what happens if I do not make it through to care for this/these child(ren). I have on gene of Factor V Lieden mutation. It is a clotting disorder. My mother has both genes. I will have to be on blood thinner injections during the pregnancy and sooner or later I will be placed on a blood thinner daily. I worry about passing it to my child(ren). Twins run in my family, that is why I say children. What to do, What to do. So I think this should be enough for tonight. I have 10 bags of mulch to put down, have to turn Cheyenne over, do laundry and easter dinner with my other family today.. Busy. I am hoping to keep this up again. I felt better when I wrote on here. Night all and Happy Easter.